Untreated trauma

Self-awareness and personal growth

Self-awareness does not only help us understand the world around like I illustrated in my blog “Self-awareness and emotional triggers”. It also helps us discover who we truly are; our strengths and weaknesses, 

Knowing what’s wrong

In order to fix something, we need to know what’s wrong. That’s why doctors prescribe blood tests and scans in order to find the cause of the ailment so as to treat it. Mechanics run diagnostics to find the problem and fix cars. 

But what if we don’t feel or see anything wrong with us? Moreover, what if we keep on living unable to feel or see our pain? What if we have no self-awareness? What happens then?

Red flags

(click here to watch my video on red flags)

If we are “lucky”, we might feel bothered by what I call a “symptom” and seek ways to get rid of it. This “symptom” is nothing other than a red flag raised to make us aware that something needs to change. Let me explain what I mean with a specific example.

Living with anxiety

A few years back, a lady came to see me in my capacity as a hypnotherapist because she wanted to quit smoking. The minute she sat down I noticed that she couldn’t stop shaking. I let her talk and explain why she wanted to quit smoking and she talked about how she wanted to stay healthy for her kids. She said that it bothered her that she couldn’t quit smoking. 

At that point I asked her:

“What about the shaking? Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Oh, she replied. It’s nothing. It’s just stress. I’ve had the shaking for years. It doesn’t bother me.”

“How often does it occur? Have you consulted a doctor?”

“Oh, I have the shaking every day. What is more, when I wake up in the morning it’s so bad that it takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to get out of bed. But it’s nothing. It’s just anxiety. I get annual medical check-ups and I am in perfect health. Try to ignore it. It’s just stress.”

I was shocked. This woman lived with severe anxiety and saw it as a normal part of her life. She didn’t even see it as a problem. She had no self-awareness…

I told her that unless we addressed her anxiety, I wouldn’t be able to help her quit smoking. Nevertheless, it took some convincing. The reason behind it was that she believed that quitting smoking was more important. Fortunately for her, she finally decided to work with me on her anxiety.

Becoming self-aware

It turned out that this woman had suffered severe trauma as a child that had never been treated. We worked with Reiki, Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching, which is what I-KI COACHING is about. Within a few months she was able to manage her stress. We found what triggered her and she learned to use healthy coping mechanisms to deal with it. With my help, she did the work and developed self-awareness that she continues to cultivate today in all aspects of her life. Her quality of life as well as her relationships improved tremendously and she is leading a much happier life.

The bottom line

▪️ To begin with, if we experience unpleasant emotions, stress or anxiety,

▪️Likewise, if we fixate on a problem ignoring all others,

▪️ Or if we repeat patterns of behavior or make choices that are making our lives difficult…

✔️ Firstly, a good way to start is some introspection.

✔️ Secondly, what we need is to become more self-aware of what is causing it.

✔️ Last but not least, if we can’t do it alone, maybe it’s high time we sought help to do it.

To be continued…

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash