The illusion of control and the power of faith in life and in one’s inner voice

Amandine is an extraordinary woman, mother of two, who “survived” a difficult childhood and an even more difficult adolescence. From an early age she learnt that she could rely on no one but herself. She fought hard to make a life for herself and later on for her children. As a result, she saw every change, every challenge, as another fight.

First contact

When I first met Amandine she looked exhausted. She was constantly on edge trying to keep everything in order, that is, what she saw as order or as what things should be like according to the ideal image she had in her mind. She had a hard time accepting people and situations for who and what they were and she kept comparing everyone and everything with how they should be in an ideal world. Everything was a struggle but what she couldn’t see was that the hardest struggle was the one against herself.

Amandine’s unexploited “gift”

Amandine, like all of us, has a gift. She can “see and sense” a lot more than many people can. The problem was that what she could “see and sense” contradicted what her mind or her logic told her was “right” for her.

We have worked together using “all the tools under my belt”, that is Reiki, Life Coaching and Channeling, and she has also become my Reiki student.

This is an email she sent me asking me to share it with you:

The realization

During my sessions with Evina, I became aware of my need to control events, relationships, but more importantly, I got to realize that thinking you can control everything is an enticing but, at the same time, an impossible task that leaves you exhausted and frustrated. 

My story in my own words

I would like to share a personal anecdote:

Several months ago, I made the decision to quit my job as a civil servant, in order to do a job that really suits my new which doesn’t involve any more professional transfers.

So I went back to school and bought an apartment in the city I wanted.

I then took the (financial) risk of resigning and I said to myself: “we’ll see … I’m listening to my needs so no matter what happens, it can only go well”.

Letting go of the illusion of control

I let go: I accepted the situation, the uncertainty, the gray areas … and decided and managed not to overthink it and worry about itanymore.

Life’s gift

A few weeks after that, I was contacted by the HR department of my service, who made me a tantalizing offer; they asked me to withdraw my resignation and offered me a position they had created just for me, in the city I wanted to live (2km from my apartment)!

What a gift!!! 

So I accepted this position, which will allow me financially to feel safe (during the pandemic) and be calm enough to start my new activity as a side hustle.

Happy and curious

I now know that letting go and not worrying can be synonymous with nice surprises.

Fear and worry about the future gradually give way to curiosity.

My newly founded trust in Life

I am finally able to be authentic and trust life!

Amandine

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash