Who does not know anger? How often do we get angry? How many times have you been the victim of somebody else’s anger?
Whether we realize it on conscious level or not, anger, along with worry, comes from our desire to control everything that happens around us, to make sure it happens the way we imagined it should.
Think about it. Why do we get angry when we do not get our way? Why do not accept the situation as it is and so as to be able to take appropriate action?
The answer is simple. When we think that situations are out of (our) control, we feel in danger and, as a consequence, we feel intense fear. We are afraid that we will lose everything, we think our survival is at risk, we are overcome with the fear of “death”. (for more on control check out my article “Put a stop to worry now!”).
Fear, anger, love, joy, all feelings are accompanied with energy. Joy makes us jump (jump for my joy), love can move mountains, fear makes us quake and so on.
Energy has two basic properties. Firstly, it is neutral in itself. It is neither good nor bad. It is up to us how we use it. We can use it to build a house or to demolish it. Secondly, we all know from school the principle of conservation of energy. Energy is never lost, it does not disappear. It just changes shape, or form.
The energy of anger is either externalized and transformed into shouting or violence until it is “expended” (often with direct and / or indirect destructive consequences for the individual and for its environment), or oppressed, in which case it accumulates in the body with devastating consequences, which are, in most cases, long-term. Repressed anger is transformed into health problems, cancer and autoimmune diseases.
The more we feel fear, the more likely it is that subconscious patterns of behavior arise. These patterns, which were formed long before the outburst of anger and stem from past experiences, awaken our inferiority complex / fears / emotional pain and are unfortunately enhanced by media-driven ideas, movies, etc. (the best defense is attack, shock and awe, etc.).
The person with violent outbursts of anger, shouting, hitting, using violence, terrorizing us, is actually terrified himself. His fear is so great that he has no clarity, he cannot face his fear, cannot stand it. If he lets fear emerge and he experience it, he will feel petrified, unable to think or act. His whole world will crumble… That is why, subconsciously, he transforms his fear into anger, which gives him the illusion of power and control.
Anger is a devastating feeling and no good ever comes from it. We all know that.
Apart from its visible and invisible consequences to the individual and his loved ones, anger feeds the thoughtform of anger, aggression, violence and war and is devastating to all mankind. To understand the meaning of thoughtform, think about how you feel when you are in the same room with an angry person. His anger will also be transmitted to you either in the form of anger or discomfort. Conversely and respectively, laughter is contagious.
However, anger is a human emotion and I would never ask you to stop getting angry. It is impossible for most of us and such a command would cause enormous guilt and stress. It would be like asking you not to be human. (For the guilt of such kind of “commands”, see my article on forgiveness).
So what is the solution?
Conversion! The transformation of the energy of anger into creative energy!
For this conversion to be possible, we need to act fast. As soon as we feel we are getting angry and we still have clarity, we have to say to ourselves: “I’m getting angry!” The awareness of the situation alone will calm us down. It will help us take the matter into our own hands by acting consciously rather than “entering the autopilot mode” and repeat patterns of behavior that do not serve our evolution.
The next step is to try to get out of the situation that causes us anger as quickly as possible. We have to change the conversation, leave the room, and “expend” the energy that is starting to accumulate in a constructive manner: walking, running, doing sports, cooking, doing any activity that will allow us to get rid of this energy by transforming it into a creative action. We could also scream into a pillow or hit it if we are unable to use this energy in a creative way. It is definitely better than hurting our loved ones or harming ourselves either with a rash decision / action or with withholding the anger that poisoning our body from within.
Sometimes it is not possible to move away from the situation because we are at work, when we are driving, etc. When we cannot leave the place physically, we could “leave the place mentally” occupying our minds with other positive or neutral thoughts: we could think of the weekend, how wonderful our vacation was or we could just do a mental shopping list. Yes, I understand that it is not polite to pretend to be listening or participating but it is definitely better than letting anger get a hold of you and do its devastating work.
Gradually, by practicing trust in the universe to stop the anxiety and desire for control, anger will begin to appear more and more rarely. We will come to a state of tranquility that will help us become even more conscious and aware, more in control of our reactions to situations we cannot control and we will become our own masters rather that the puppets of patterns of past behavior.
Next time you face the choleric, irritable employer, father, wife, etc., help them feel safe! Now you know what is going on inside their minds. Try to reassure them that everything will be all right! Teach them with your example and not with your words.
This is what the world needs…